Cha0s Gaming - Astarion's Mansion

EasyThreads added KawaiiGames to the group. 02/25/2025 19:49

*walking in with Tefra* Dad? You home? I brought food too if you're hungry. Yes, with blood

*looks at Tefra* You sure she's going to be enough? She seems kind of thin.....

EEP! *hides behind a statue*

Not her, she's an.... acquaintance ......*reaches in the to-go bag and hands him his portion of the Goth platter* It's from Sepher's. There's blood in the sauce and the wine.

Next time lead with the bag, had me all worked up... So, who's the new girl?

Fuck, I'm sorry. Damn....Anyway.....This is Tefra. She had some questions for you.

Yes i'm a vampire, yes I drink blood, yes I can turn people, no I won't turn you, yes i'll bite you, and yes.... I am available....

Dad--

I'm married....And no, I wasn't gonna ask that......I heard you were an adventurer? (edited)

Was darling, past tense, I don't dabble in that life anymore.

Well I am an adventurer right now....and well....I have been going around asking former adventurers if they have any advice or tips that I can use....so......Do you have any?

Well.... you've come to the right place darling... Lesson one...... Don't party up with Araavos unless you're bringing SPF 1 billion, because he might be one to give you a tan... with THE ENTIRE CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!!!!!!!

1

2

....uhmm.....anything else?

...You were vaporized?

I was more full of hot air than he is.... yes..

...l...lesson two?....

*chuckles* I would have loved to have seen your face

It...... wasn't my best look... Now... when dealing with a mind flayer, watch out for the tenticles, unless you're into that sort of thing.

.....Did you.....with a mind flayer?....

Me? Gods no darling, but he did....

.....*blinks*.....*looks away* No wonder tentacle hentai is a thing......

*blushes* I'd rather not.....uhm....next?

Well what else would you like to know? Aside from dressing in attire that is loose fitting for better maneuverability, always having an exit plan, and avoiding things absolutely certain to kill you, what else is there to know? You go from one bullshit scenario to the next and just try to not get killed. Which is hard to do, when you keep getting dragged deeper into things... I swear people need common sense, sure... let's run towards the giant flying brain thing, it'll be fine... sure... let's go ahead and go to the underdark, i'm sure there's nothing down there.... or hells, why don't we go tell a dicktater he's a dick.. I'm sure we'll still be able to wander around his city....

20:27

Hells even things that look fun can be bullshit... play a game in a carnival, wind up a cheese wheel... totally approriate response...

Didn't you get trapped in a truth chamber at a carnival?

Thank You! That's actually really good advice to keep in mind! Everyone else didn't help at all....I ended up triggering a PTSD episode in one of them.....

*snaps his head in Valorie's direction* Who told you about that?

Mom....

That woman... I swear to....... *sighs* Shut up....

Sorry.....

And one last thing.... everyone has to sleep with me, hey, I don't make the rules, that's just statistics....

Again, I'm taken. Not that you aren't attractive, just...yeah

Then why are you here darling? And naked no less, this isn't his resort, if I didn't know any better, and most think I don't, I'd say you were ready for it.

Well it's not like I could have gotten dressed! She was dragging me around! Also, who told you being naked meant consent?!

*covers her mouth* Sorry....Should have known the hippie would do that....You're right, I could have let you put clothes on, bla bla bla. We cool now?

*bites her hand*

Ow! *pulls away and laughs* You're gonna become a fucking salad

Nobody TOLD me darling, but it's where.... you're naked, *he approaches* alone..... and... you're in my house.....

*starts backing up*

*Oh no.....What have I done?*

Relax.... nobody's going to do anything... But maybe try not to show up to your host naked, unless you've got a reason to be... You never know what monster will answer the door....

*still shaking* O....Oh.....Uhm.....Okay....

Well we scared the poor girl....

I-I'm n-not scared!

Oh? Well why don't you come on over here.....

I kinda like this spot here.....yu got nice plants.....

Suit yourself darling...

*nervously walks over to him*

There you go, see... not so bad... now is it... *taking a seat, and her hand to sit on his lap*

Dad, she's Araavos's....

Not here she isn't..... Isn't that right darling?

I don't think it's appropriate to be sitting on your lap.....

And yet, here you are...

*very creeped out, but trying to be nice* I uhm....I guess I am

Now, the question is... what will you do now that you're here?

Wellll you two have fun....

*eyes widen and she looks at Val like "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"*

*portals out*

.....*squeak*

Staying? Or will you be joining her?

*hesitates.*

Portal closes

....uhm.....Look you're nice and charming and all....but also very creepy!

I think it's best you leave before you upset me... You come here, ask me for advice, I'm nothing but nice, and you insult me. You're lucky i'm in a decent mood, but it's going downhill quickly....

You're right...I'm sorry.....Please don't make me leave, you are nice! Really!

As you should be, it's rude to dismiss someone so easily...

I didn't dismiss you. I just felt a little uncomfortable. That's all. I promise

Why? Do I make you nervous? Don't be nervous, I'll only bite if you ask me to.....

*starts sprinting out of the mansion*

Farewell little mouse..